 *Requires Adobe Acrobat | Regents Point Community Service Program |  |
*Requires Adobe Acrobat | Regents Point Community Service Program | |
Being a kind and loving person, your natural inclination may be to step in and help a frail senior citizen who is struggling with an everyday task. And they may be eternally grateful, because that's exactly what they were hoping you would do. Then again, they may be deeply insulted or embarrassed.
Think about it. How would you feel if you had difficulty picking up a pencil, something you previously did countless times without giving it a second thought. Would you want someone to pick it up for you? Maybe you would be driven by personal pride, fight through the chronic pain and loss of mobility, and prefer to slowly accomplish this simple task.
So how do you know when to help a senior and when to sit back? It's a judgment call, with every person and situation being different. When safety is an immediate concern, you have to act. If it is not, why not ask if you can be of service. Most seniors would appreciate your concern.
The effects of age and/or illness may limit what a senior can do. But the desire to do for oneself may be stronger than ever. Many times seniors do not resent the help, but the lack of choice. They have made decisions for themselves all their lives. They see the caregiver as taking that freedom away.
So instead of instinctively doing something for a senior, caregivers should consider how they can help them to accomplish the task or be involved in the decision. Help them maintain their self-respect while fostering as much independence as possible. Always consider how the activity and challenge could be good for their mind, body and spirit.
Of course, that's not always a simple thing to do. It can be very frustrating to be capable of helping, yet
hold back and watch. In addition, a caregiver may fear a mishap, be required to do things much differently or just be short on time. And adult children of seniors are faced with plenty of emotional relationship issues. So when should they step in and help their parent?
In the case of a lone parent, if there is a safety risk for the parent or someone else, the children have to take action. If there is mental incompetence, they should step in, as well. Otherwise, the parent (or their competent mate) has the right to choose if and when they would like some assistance.
At times the best help a caregiver can provide is no help at all. Their support and respect may be much more valuable to the senior.
